Hungry

I'm hungry right now. I just got back from work almost an hour ago and i am making myself some rice to add tuna to. *yeah, mom said that is an odd combination. i guess i'll find out ^_^*

I had an egg this morning with some swiss cheese. And then I had some Trader Joe's onion soup *i don't recommend it though, because it doesn't taste very good at all. even david didn't like it, and david loves onions* at work. But now I'm still hungry, so I'm making a good amount of brown rice to mix with my tuna. But it takes forever for it to cook. I'm going to have to see if i can find some precooked ones with nothing added that i can use instead.

I found an interesting cook book at the library today. I think i might go out and buy it. It has a lot of really good whole grain recipes etc, and it is designed for diabetics, so it is pretty balanced as far as carbohydrates and sugars go.

I picked it up because i was getting really concerned about the lifestyle stuff i currently have because, like i said before, it really emphasizes cutting out sugar and carbs and all that, but I worry because the author isn't really a dietician or anything and sometimes i start to wonder if he really has health in mind, or just losing weight. Because those are two totally different things.


*****okay, in case anyone was wondering: yes, brown rice and tuna tastes delicious.*****


also, all of the recipes in the other books focus way more on no carbs or sugar at all from grains, etc. That is great if you are not allergic to soy and if you have the time to prepare and endless supplies of fresh veggies. But I'm not at home living off of disability like he was. I am a student who works 20 hours a week, and it is very hard to balance stuff that way, especially when you are allergic to everything.

detour: I had class last night and hadn't eaten as much as i needed to for the sake of time *and having improperly cooked what i was going to eat* and there was a girl there who is constantly eating raw fruits and vegetables. That's great I wish i could do that. I have always -- really, ever since i can remember -- wanted to be that girl walking around with fresh fruit and veggies in her pocket just munching on it all day long. The idea of walking around crunching on celery seriously makes my mouth water.

Don't get me wrong, I love salty flour-based snacks *which of course are now filled soy oil and what not* as much as the next person, but they just aren't as satisfying as sitting down and munching on an avacodo.


So, anyway, this girl is notorious for just randomly whipping a whole carrot out of her purse and munching on it in the middle of class, and the yesterday, she got up during our break and began peeling an orange. *argh... i have never been able to peel oranges. I always ended up with a sticky mess. but of course, i'll probably never learn now since i can't even eat them*

and people started giving her a hard time about it. just kind of admiringly commenting that wow, it really takes time and patience to do that. And you can eat a whole bag of fritos before the orange is peeled. and talking about how she always has fresh food with her and what not.

Now, I would have taken that as a compliment on my patience. But no, she felt the need to defend herself. Okay, have at it.
Her response was that she works in the morning and comes straight to school after class most days and is there til the evening and so of course she is going to bring snacks with her.

so, this begs the question for Alyse: what am i supposed to do? I was just sitting there with my little lunchbox, filled with half-baked rice pudding that was inedible. Before and After class I went to the vending machine area to see what they had, but i couldn't eat a single thing.

Yeah, that's right. I went multiple times as if the machines were going to swap out foods just for me.

Sure, they had fritos and gummies and energy bars, even cup o noodles and frozen sandwiches... but i couldn't eat a single one of them. I'm allergic to all of the fresh sandwiches in the johnson center. The only place i can eat that i'm not entirely allergic to is Taco Bell, and at this point, i'd rather go hungry because it ends up making my stomach hurt just the same.

Anyway, the point of me talking about that is seriously...
You know you've hit an all time low when watching someone peel an orange makes you cry -- that's all i have to say.

I did get some onion soup when i got home though. But it really tasted terrible. I even tried to doctor it up with stuff and i still just turned it from inedible to barely edible. I finished as much as I could at work today and threw the rest out.

It also doesn't help that my metabolism has kicked up a bit. I used to be able to go for a pretty long time without eating if i needed to. But now i have to have breakfast, then something at work between 10 and 2 then something when i get home or on the bus then something before my last class. and then sometimes i'm still hungry when i get home, although i usually just have a glass of water or milk or something at that point and get my butt to bed.

It feels like i'm eating a ton constantly, but i asked david about it and he said that i really haven't been eating as much, and that it just seems like it because i'm more frequently and when i'm eating, it's more substantial. Which i think makes sense, because you don't really notice eating a whole thing of chocolates or chips while your sitting in front of the tv, but you really notice when eaten a couple of sausages or eggs or brown rice with tuna ^_^. It isn't mindless eating since you're making it and what not.


So anyway, back to my main point, I read in my biology text something troubling about "Fad" diets, of which they included low-carb dieting, which can be really terrible for you. I just wanted to emphasize that that isn't really what I'm doing. I am much more so trying to cut out overly processed carbohydrates and sugars that are BAD for you. And I am not even opting to cut out grains and use just veggies for fiber and what not. I'm still incorporating my whole grains. *since I haven't developed an allergy to them... yet*

I can't follow the Stella stuff too closely because, since i am allergic to so much, i could very easily slip into the "low carb trap" of just eating fatty meats and dairy stuff and not enough veggies or anything else.

So I've been looking for more ways to use the stuff that I can eat that is good for me like whole grains, and this cook book was written closely with a nutritionist and all that.

It also has a really cute concept call "GO -- SLOW -- WHOA foods"which basically lists GO foods: foods you can eat pretty much any time. SLOW foods: foods you should try to limit to maybe only three times a week at most. and WHOA foods: which are more like comfort foods that you really should try to avoid and limit yourself to maybe three times a month at the most.

Also, looking through it, it doesn't make heavy use of the foods i am allergic to *namely soy. which is a real heart-breaker for me because I'm not a big meat fan, and I love tofu. you know... concentrated soy...* ... okay, there is some use of soy (because it is just so darn amazing) okay, and i take some of that back... there is of course a lot of mention of eating raw fruits and nuts and veggies for snacks

it also has a really cute way of introducing the foods in phases giving you actual weekly and daily meal plan examples to help you understand what a balanced daily intake looks like. I think that is really cool because that is exactly what the nutritionist did with me during our appointment, and it is a really helpful activity. The only problem was that she kept recommending that I eat foods that I was ALLERGIC to.


yeah, so nevermind. Basically, all of the food that you have to eat in order to live a good well-balanced life, I am allergic to. no no, i'm cool with that. seriously. but the next time a doctor tells me that i am obese, i am not responsible for my actions. hmph.

no worries though. there are still a lot of recipes in there that are really good for whole grains and stuff. I was just annoyed because all of the "snack" sections consist of "have 1 cup of raw veggies. have 1 medium peach. etc etc"

i'm all right though. actually, i have to head to school soon, so i'll end the post now. ^_^

I haven't posted what I've been eating lately, but that is mostly because i've been doing a pretty good job of balancing things out/eating properly, although i'm still looking for awesome recipes. i have the ones that alexa and aaron gave me, so those will be fun to do as well.

Now I have to get used to getting up earlier and playing DDR.